just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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