Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
