ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
