You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
