new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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