Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Two words: nipple clamps
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