Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize