I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
