Don't you send me to vm
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
