Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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