everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
