physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
