I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
