I heard we made out
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
