Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
