I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
