So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
