This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
