You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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