quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
