I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
