GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
