youre lurking in front of me
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
