did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
