I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
