I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
