That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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