he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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