am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
