whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
