Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
