check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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