you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
