Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
