i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
