This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
