dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
