He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
