11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
