i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
