Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
