She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
