In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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