ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
