Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
