my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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