i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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