Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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