Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
