The maid of honor just puked.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
