I hate your face
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
