The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I can't trust your balls anymore.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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