what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
