hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
